just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
