Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
you will always have a special place in my vag
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize