sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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