her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
This toilet bowl is my home.
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