I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
Randomize
