Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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