My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Randomize
