I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Randomize
