Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
We named our party play list daddy issues
Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
I thought the fact that I took home a 42 year old with 3 kids would excuse my tardiness this morning because my boss is also 42 and has 3 kids. Boy was I wrong.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
Randomize
