Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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