she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize