i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
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