It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
false alarm. still invincible.
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize