I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
Randomize
