ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Randomize
