i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Randomize
