You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
