The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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