I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
Randomize
