I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
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