Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Randomize
