my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
