Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
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