why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Randomize
