Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
