he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
