so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
