dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
