i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I want to be your penis for a week.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize