If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
