Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
Randomize
