We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Nhdgh I love you very much hello becausevs. Vagina pensiono
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
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