he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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