i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's not a walk of shame if you run
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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