Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
ā€ˇ"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
