All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
