You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Found the puke drawer
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize