there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize
