This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
