i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
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