So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
i woke up this morning from the best one night stand. i made the guy mickey mouse pancakes for breakfast and when i walked back into the bedroom he said "marry me"
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
