Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
a drug dealer just gave me his business card. it had his face on it drinking a 40oz
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Randomize
