either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
The feeling are messing with the penis
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
Randomize
