If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just watched a UNI fan at the bar lick the tears off of a KU fans face.. See what march madness does to people
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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