Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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