small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
