Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize