It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Randomize
