based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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