I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
