a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
