I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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