we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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