I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
