Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
