so explain again why im purple
no
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
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