I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
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