He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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