Nipple clamps can be ambiguous
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
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