the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
