I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
