I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I don't want to just break his heart, I want to dip it in liquid nitrogen and then smash it until it's powder and snort the powder
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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