I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
