It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
Maybe she'll change her mind but the "go fuck yourself" doesn't seem promising
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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